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Big Black Cursor. Big White Cursor. Keyboard Navigation. Letter Navigation. So why are people who are straight so up in arms against using it to mean "stupid"?

This is an ongoing controversy that crested earlier this year with some people getting crazy pissed about that movie trailer where Vince Vaughn says electric cars are gay.

Lord knows I've used the word that way, and gotten my fair share of shit about it from various people.

Maybe no gay person you know is offended when you say, "Hey, that vanity plate is fucking gay," but of course that doesn't mean it holds true for the entire gay population.

It really does annoy some of them, causing them to get off their Vespa scooters and come skipping at you with great fury.

I KEED. And you can't say to someone, "Hey, you can't be pissed about that! And I, being a moron, was actually surprised by all this, because I never thought of that word literally.

I was like, "Wait a second! You can't be angry with that word! Someone's who's selfish and arrogant is clearly a goddamn cocksucker.

Why, it has nothing to do with sexual orientation! You're probably going to think of that word as a hateful gay slur, and rightfully so.

The problem with getting rid of using the word "gay" in a derogatory way for things that are lame or stupid is that, frankly, it's a fantastic word.

It really is. It's great to say. It's not like certain racial or gay epithets that sound ugly or harsh when you hear them.

It's a fun word, a lively word, a GAY word! It's just the right sounding word depending upon the situation.

For example, if you work at the Cheesecake Factory and they force you to wear flair on Saturdays, it just feels RIGHT for you to say, "Christ, these buttons are fucking gay.

Nothing else is quite as effective. I suppose you could use the alternate spelling "ghey" to help distinguish between the two, but users on UrbanDictionary have already seen through that ruse and deemed it homophobic.

So what I think needs to happen is that gay people need to lose the word and go by something else. It's too good of a word to keep all for yourselves, gays.

I need it in case my old lady wants me to put a Katherine Heigl movie on NetFlix. Just call yourselves something different. Like, I dunno, "cocksuckers".

That works! Seriously though, we should all probably use that word less. I know I've tried not to use it as often. I save it strictly for special oggaysions.

I keep it stowed away in an emergency case, so I can I break the glass and retrieve it whenever that Owl City song pops on the radio.

I am pretty sure that beef jerky is immune to the laws of supply and demand. No matter how much I buy, it never gets cheaper. No matter how much anyone buys, it never gets cheaper.

It's true! It's grotesquely expensive. The bag weighs a tenth of an ounce. Cocaine has a lower cost by weight.

Six bucks is a lot to pony up for strips of beef that have been hung and dried and are now tough enough to repel most live ammunition.

Am I right for telling my fiance that going to get my eyebrows waxed is the most embarrassing, humiliating, emasculating thing she could ever ask me to do, even though I do have a pretty serious uni-brow?

It's better to go get them done. Why not have it done by a professional who may end up being an extremely attractive worker at Jean Louis David who gives you a vigorous scalp massage before plucking away?

I've been married for eight years, and I'm always shocked and stunned at how often my wife regards me as little more than a scratch toy.

I'll just be sitting there when she'll jam a finger in my fucking eye to get a sleepy out. Or she'll just start rooting through my hair to check for, I dunno, follicular abnormalities.

Then I'll tell the woman to stop and she will and then five minutes later she's doing it again! What the fuck? I have been poked and prodded and subject to numerous tests against my will.

Yet if I do anything like that back, I'm Mr. Overly Sexually Aggressive. Just this past week, I was standing at the sink washing dishes when my wife took a cologne sample from some magazine and smeared it right on my fucking neck.

Without me asking. I'm minding my own business, then suddenly BOOM! And it smelled awful. You can't just do that, ladies. We're not canvases for you to work on.

You can't come attacking us with fucking eye creams and tweezers and whatever other mad ideas you have fluttering around in your goddamn heads.

We're people, too. It was taken in a gas station stall in Pontiac, Illinois. The poet obviously put some great thought into this so I think its best to share his work with the world.

Speaking of dingleberries, allow me to tell you an absolutely horrible story that will disgust and repel you.

The other day, I'm taking a shit right before I hit the shower. So I wipe up, get off the pot, hop in the shower, and immediately start soaping my ass to get any and excess excess poop out of the crevice.

I did a lousy job wiping, so a little ball of shit lands at the edge of the shower, far away from the drain. This horrified me. I didn't want to spend any longer sharing the shower with the speck of poop than need be, so I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to redirect the stream of the shower so that it would sweep up the shitball and whisk it to the drain.

So I stood there for at least ten minutes trying to guide the poop to the drain. This happens to me at least once a month.

I wish showers had better drainage systems. Also, I'm a repugnant human being. Why do football announcers always have to include the five yard line in their call of a long run, punt return, kickoff return, or pick-6?

They will shout something along the lines of, "He's at the 40! The 30! The 20! Mamurin is knocked to the ground after the disgusting proposal.

Picture: Liveleak Source:Supplied. The intended victim was so angry he punched the cocky teenager so hard he knocked him off his feet.

Earlier in the video a man takes him up on his offer and Mamurin can be seen peeing into a glass before handing it over. Rich kid Grisha Mamurin has provoked a storm of protest by paying girls to flash their boobs in public.

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Reading Guide. I just learned that my average so far for the 2nd quarter is a 55 because I don't do the homework and get 63s on tests because I play games on my phone the whole class.

I am getting my progress report this week and my parents are going to flip out. Should I. Tell the truth? Hide the progress report?

Burn it? Smoke some weed? There's no point in burning it or trying to hide it because, if memory serves, teachers usually place personal calls to the parents of failing students to tell them that the kid in question is on the verge of flunking out.

That means you're probably gonna end up failing anyway, in which case you're merely prolonging the agony. Your solution here is to smoke the weed, then tell the truth.

Their crass yelling won't hurt you as badly if you're heavily sedated. In your defense, physics is fucking impossible.

I took it in school and was miserable at it. Kilojoules and newtons and all that horrible shit: they may as well have written the textbook in fucking Russian.

I couldn't process any of it. There were some subjects in school that were simply impenetrable to me.

Even when I studied hard, I was unable to comprehend any of it. Physics was like that. Calculus was even worse. I think every student in America should be allowed to opt out of one required field of study per year if they demonstrate a fundamental retardery in that subject.

Do you think it's ok to use the word "gay" when you're describing something that you think is stupid? I am not gay and have absolutely no issue with people who are, but I use the word "gay" in place of "stupid" ALL the time.

I have a couple of gay friends and a couple of gay family members and none of them get offended in the least bit when I use it.

The only people who seem to be offended are those who try to be PC like Hilary Duff. So why are people who are straight so up in arms against using it to mean "stupid"?

This is an ongoing controversy that crested earlier this year with some people getting crazy pissed about that movie trailer where Vince Vaughn says electric cars are gay.

Lord knows I've used the word that way, and gotten my fair share of shit about it from various people. Maybe no gay person you know is offended when you say, "Hey, that vanity plate is fucking gay," but of course that doesn't mean it holds true for the entire gay population.

It really does annoy some of them, causing them to get off their Vespa scooters and come skipping at you with great fury. I KEED. And you can't say to someone, "Hey, you can't be pissed about that!

And I, being a moron, was actually surprised by all this, because I never thought of that word literally.

I was like, "Wait a second! You can't be angry with that word! Someone's who's selfish and arrogant is clearly a goddamn cocksucker.

Why, it has nothing to do with sexual orientation! You're probably going to think of that word as a hateful gay slur, and rightfully so.

The problem with getting rid of using the word "gay" in a derogatory way for things that are lame or stupid is that, frankly, it's a fantastic word.

It really is. It's great to say. It's not like certain racial or gay epithets that sound ugly or harsh when you hear them. It's a fun word, a lively word, a GAY word!

It's just the right sounding word depending upon the situation. For example, if you work at the Cheesecake Factory and they force you to wear flair on Saturdays, it just feels RIGHT for you to say, "Christ, these buttons are fucking gay.

Nothing else is quite as effective. I suppose you could use the alternate spelling "ghey" to help distinguish between the two, but users on UrbanDictionary have already seen through that ruse and deemed it homophobic.

So what I think needs to happen is that gay people need to lose the word and go by something else.

It's too good of a word to keep all for yourselves, gays. I need it in case my old lady wants me to put a Katherine Heigl movie on NetFlix.

Just call yourselves something different. Like, I dunno, "cocksuckers". That works! Seriously though, we should all probably use that word less.

I know I've tried not to use it as often. I save it strictly for special oggaysions. I keep it stowed away in an emergency case, so I can I break the glass and retrieve it whenever that Owl City song pops on the radio.

I am pretty sure that beef jerky is immune to the laws of supply and demand. No matter how much I buy, it never gets cheaper.

No matter how much anyone buys, it never gets cheaper. It's true! It's grotesquely expensive. The bag weighs a tenth of an ounce. Cocaine has a lower cost by weight.

Six bucks is a lot to pony up for strips of beef that have been hung and dried and are now tough enough to repel most live ammunition. Am I right for telling my fiance that going to get my eyebrows waxed is the most embarrassing, humiliating, emasculating thing she could ever ask me to do, even though I do have a pretty serious uni-brow?

It's better to go get them done. Why not have it done by a professional who may end up being an extremely attractive worker at Jean Louis David who gives you a vigorous scalp massage before plucking away?

I've been married for eight years, and I'm always shocked and stunned at how often my wife regards me as little more than a scratch toy.

I'll just be sitting there when she'll jam a finger in my fucking eye to get a sleepy out. Or she'll just start rooting through my hair to check for, I dunno, follicular abnormalities.

Then I'll tell the woman to stop and she will and then five minutes later she's doing it again! What the fuck? I have been poked and prodded and subject to numerous tests against my will.

Yet if I do anything like that back, I'm Mr. Overly Sexually Aggressive. Just this past week, I was standing at the sink washing dishes when my wife took a cologne sample from some magazine and smeared it right on my fucking neck.

Without me asking. I'm minding my own business, then suddenly BOOM! And it smelled awful. You can't just do that, ladies. We're not canvases for you to work on.

You can't come attacking us with fucking eye creams and tweezers and whatever other mad ideas you have fluttering around in your goddamn heads.

We're people, too. It was taken in a gas station stall in Pontiac, Illinois. The poet obviously put some great thought into this so I think its best to share his work with the world.

Speaking of dingleberries, allow me to tell you an absolutely horrible story that will disgust and repel you.

The other day, I'm taking a shit right before I hit the shower. So I wipe up, get off the pot, hop in the shower, and immediately start soaping my ass to get any and excess excess poop out of the crevice.

I did a lousy job wiping, so a little ball of shit lands at the edge of the shower, far away from the drain.

This horrified me. I didn't want to spend any longer sharing the shower with the speck of poop than need be, so I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to redirect the stream of the shower so that it would sweep up the shitball and whisk it to the drain.

So I stood there for at least ten minutes trying to guide the poop to the drain. This happens to me at least once a month. I wish showers had better drainage systems.

Also, I'm a repugnant human being. Why do football announcers always have to include the five yard line in their call of a long run, punt return, kickoff return, or pick-6?

They will shout something along the lines of, "He's at the 40! The 30! The 20! They squeeze it in there every time.

The 25 gets no love. They should rename the five-yard line the GAY for that very reason. He's at the 40! Then 10!

I think throwing the five in there also helps build up the sexual release. He's teasing you. It's a real cool trick. Is there a more nerve-racking chore to perform than putting dishes away while the kids are sleeping?

It's not possible to even SET a plate on top of another without it sounding like a gunshot echoing through the house. Here's how you can make your million dollars: invent silent dishes.

I've long argued with my wife that we should use paper plates and paper cups until the children are at least They make no noise.

I don't have to wash them.

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